{"id":1057,"date":"2015-12-03T20:02:57","date_gmt":"2015-12-04T03:02:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=1057"},"modified":"2015-12-03T20:11:44","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T03:11:44","slug":"im-in-a-video","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=1057","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m in a video ?!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Wow I really need to update that picture! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^<\/p>\n<p>Recently my trainer and gym have been expanding their marketing and were shooting a short &#8216;promo&#8217; video.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"525\" height=\"296\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zzZeZxov6AQ?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>So this is basically totally bizarre for me in a way that might be hard to understand.\u00a0 When I look at this video, I can see that it&#8217;s me and I recognize myself, but it&#8217;s hard for me to believe that&#8217;s actually me.\u00a0 Who would put me in this cool video? Why aren&#8217;t I cut out?<\/p>\n<p>When you spend the majority of your life in the shadows of society, it&#8217;s really weird when you aren&#8217;t anymore.\u00a0 When I was overweight, I wasn&#8217;t a wallflower by any means.\u00a0 What I mean by &#8220;shadow of society&#8221; is that no one really notices you.\u00a0 Men don&#8217;t look at you twice.\u00a0 Women dismiss you immediately.\u00a0 Even though everyone can see you, it&#8217;s like they never notice you.\u00a0 Now people see me all the time. I get the &#8220;Skinny Bitch&#8221; face all the time. ( you know what I&#8217;m talking about) Men look at me.\u00a0 Sometimes it&#8217;s the man with a woman ON HIS ARM that&#8217;s looking at me. (which I really freaking hate by the way).<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been struggling with my identity in society for a while now (<a href=\"http:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=1001\">Read Here<\/a>) but regardless of what &#8216;box&#8217; I&#8217;m in now, it&#8217;s still weird to ME, which I think it most important.\u00a0 I can agree that the girl in this video looks good and fit.\u00a0 I agree that she doesn&#8217;t look like she has loose skin or literally lost half of her body. I can even ALMOST agree that that girl looks hot.\u00a0 But it still just doesn&#8217;t quite feel like me. I&#8217;m beginning to wonder if it ever will.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Screen-Shot-2015-12-03-at-8.10.16-PM.png\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1060\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Screen-Shot-2015-12-03-at-8.10.16-PM.png?resize=525%2C328\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-12-03 at 8.10.16 PM\" width=\"525\" height=\"328\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Screen-Shot-2015-12-03-at-8.10.16-PM.png?w=1280&amp;ssl=1 1280w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Screen-Shot-2015-12-03-at-8.10.16-PM.png?resize=300%2C188&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Screen-Shot-2015-12-03-at-8.10.16-PM.png?resize=1024%2C640&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Screen-Shot-2015-12-03-at-8.10.16-PM.png?resize=150%2C94&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 767px) 89vw, (max-width: 1000px) 54vw, (max-width: 1071px) 543px, 580px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m the girl that gets cut out.\u00a0 I&#8217;m the girl that doesn&#8217;t have hardly any photos of her whole body for almost a decade.\u00a0 I&#8217;m the girl that stands in the back to hide her body from the camera.\u00a0 I&#8217;m the girl that would NEVER be filmed in a video.\u00a0 Right? Well.\u00a0 Apparently not.\u00a0 Do I have to spend equal amount of years in this body that I did in that body before it will fell like mine? That means I&#8217;ll feel normal in this body when&#8230;&#8230;I&#8217;m&#8230;..50?! Let&#8217;s hope that&#8217;s not true.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wow I really need to update that picture! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Recently my trainer and gym have been expanding their marketing and were shooting a short &#8216;promo&#8217; video. So this is basically totally bizarre for me in a way that might be hard to understand.\u00a0 When I look at this video, I can see that it&#8217;s me &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=1057\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;I&#8217;m in a video ?!&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12,11,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotions","category-fitness","category-image"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4PFDd-h3","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1057","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1057"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1057\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1062,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1057\/revisions\/1062"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1057"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1057"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1057"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}