![\"f977950945f2df84dd2db9e497e67597\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/f977950945f2df84dd2db9e497e67597.jpg?resize=447%2C447\")
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Somedays I wonder if there will always be two of me. \u00a0There’s the new me: confident, fit and outgoing and then there’s always the old me: overweight, uncomfortable and failing. \u00a0In my overweight life, I had a good career and an ok marriage. \u00a0I was mostly happy and pretty outgoing but part of me always knew there was more. \u00a0I knew there had to be more to life: more to see, more to do and more to expect from myself. \u00a0I always felt like a failure but I couldn’t figure out why: I was failing at life. I was so happy with living a half life. \u00a0Part of me wonders if I would have just stayed that way…..and for how long.<\/p>\n
Now I feel like my life is FULL. \u00a0My relationships with everything are better. \u00a0My marriage is better. I have so much more to give to my husband and we get so much more out of life and our time together now. \u00a0I feel like my friendships are deeper and more meaningful because I have more value for myself now. \u00a0My job is easier and keeping up with day to day tasks of life are easier. \u00a0I feel more connected to nature and humanity as a whole. \u00a0I feel like I’m doing life right now.<\/p>\n
But somedays I think about how easy it would be to go back. \u00a0Of course I have cheat days and rest day but what would it be like to give up? What would it be like to wake up as my old self? Part of me thinks this will never happen and the other half of me fears that it will. I have lived in two different worlds. \u00a0I have had two different marriages. \u00a0(To the same man!) I have had two lifetimes in one. \u00a0So each day I still fight. \u00a0I still fight that girl who wants two cheeseburgers and a side of mozzarella sticks. \u00a0Some days I don’t want to go to the gym and just get it done as quick as possible. I still beat her every single day.<\/p>\n
The easiest way to not go backwards is to remember where I came from. \u00a0I 100% believe that if anyone could drop the weight and feel the difference in their body, they would do it in a heart beat. \u00a0Every calorie, drop of sweat and running mile was worth it. \u00a0Every. Single. One.<\/p>\n
I wouldn’t give up anything for the person I am now or the lifestyle that I lead. \u00a0Notice: I didn’t say this body. \u00a0I didn’t say, I wouldn’t give up being skinny for anything. \u00a0I know my weight will fluctuate as my life continues to change. I know I won’t always see this number on the scale. It’s not about being skinny. \u00a0It’s about meeting my life goals and being the person I want to be, skinny was just a result. \u00a0So every day, every damn day, I still beat her.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Somedays I wonder if there will always be two of me. \u00a0There’s the new me: confident, fit and outgoing and then there’s always the old me: overweight, uncomfortable and failing. \u00a0In my overweight life, I had a good career and an ok marriage. \u00a0I was mostly happy and pretty outgoing but part of me always … <\/p>\n