{"id":1636,"date":"2020-01-27T14:56:05","date_gmt":"2020-01-27T21:56:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=1636"},"modified":"2020-01-27T16:15:58","modified_gmt":"2020-01-27T23:15:58","slug":"empty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=1636","title":{"rendered":"Empty"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Sometimes I sit down to write at this computer and I feel nothing. I&#8217;m not sure what to say. I&#8217;m not sure what it is that I want to say. I&#8217;m a feeler and I&#8217;m a fighter. What I feel I feel deeply and it&#8217;s hard for me to do almost anything halfway. Because of this, I tend to feel all or nothing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Digging into the reasons of why I was obese to begin with, curing my anxiety and establishing new boundaries has been quite painful. It would be easier to just not. It would be easier to just be a dry drunk; to take my drugs away but not solve the problem. I could ignore it. I could pretend. Digging for weeks and weeks has left me exhausted. Somedays my hard drive needs to defrag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"525\" height=\"907\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/img_5262-593x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C907\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1638\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/img_5262.jpg?resize=593%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 593w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/img_5262.jpg?resize=174%2C300&amp;ssl=1 174w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/img_5262.jpg?resize=768%2C1326&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yogapantsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/img_5262.jpg?w=828&amp;ssl=1 828w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 525px) 100vw, 525px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>On days like these, I hide at the local coffee shop. I&#8217;m an extrovert and I recharge around others. When I&#8217;m not at work, I find it hard to be alone lately. I have to stop myself from texting people and seeking attention all day. Thankfully almost everyone I know works normal hours when I&#8217;m at my most annoying. Being at the coffee shop helps me feel socialized without sucking everyone into my drama. I&#8217;m a private person and I keep a very small inner circle. (If you&#8217;ve made the cut, consider yourself lucky \ud83d\ude42 ) What I share here might seem super personal, but it&#8217;s only a small part of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People that have been through a lot of shit, we like to figure it out ourselves. Our track record fo getting ourselves through days so far is 100%. So I take myself to the coffee shop, hide in the corner and slowly begin to figure it all out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The past three months for me have been a lot. A LOT. There&#8217;s parts I&#8217;ve shared here and parts I haven&#8217;t. I guess the point I&#8217;m trying to make is, while my journey is over to the person I wanted to be, I never envisioned the person I&#8217;m becoming. When you start to ask yourself the right questions, you start to get your answers. Pieces fall into place and I think I&#8217;m starting to become whole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes I sit down to write at this computer and I feel nothing. I&#8217;m not sure what to say. I&#8217;m not sure what it is that I want to say. I&#8217;m a feeler and I&#8217;m a fighter. What I feel I feel deeply and it&#8217;s hard for me to do almost anything halfway. Because of &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=1636\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Empty&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s4PFDd-empty","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1636"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1640,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636\/revisions\/1640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}