{"id":875,"date":"2015-06-16T09:58:55","date_gmt":"2015-06-16T15:58:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=875"},"modified":"2015-06-16T09:58:55","modified_gmt":"2015-06-16T15:58:55","slug":"rage-outs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/?p=875","title":{"rendered":"Rage Outs"},"content":{"rendered":"

On a weight loss journey, a lot of emotional issues may arise that you haven’t noticed before.\u00a0 While your emotions adjust, it can expose a lot of things. Even now that I’ve lost the weight, I continually struggle with the mental side.\u00a0 I’m going to go back and write about a problem I was having this past winter.\u00a0 At the time, I was too embarrassed about it to write about it publicly or properly.\u00a0 Now I think is the right time.<\/p>\n

In October\/November of 2014, I was experiencing what I called ‘Rage Outs’.\u00a0 Most of you might think you know what I’m talking about.\u00a0 Most women have less control over their emotions during ‘that time’ but this was much much worse.\u00a0 They usually happened at the gym, strangely enough, and on rare occasion at home.\u00a0 Something would happen that was out of my control.\u00a0 That was usually the trigger.\u00a0 When I’m not in control, I tend to freak out.\u00a0 But this would be over little, seemingly insignificant things.\u00a0 All of the sudden, I could feel my brain go red. I could see and feel myself getting so mad that I felt ‘out of my body.’\u00a0 I know the ladies know the feeling when you can see and hear yourself being ridiculous, but you can’t do anything about it.\"Anger-Rage-Photo-11\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ‘Rage Outs’ got way worse than just PMS.\u00a0 I would be OUT OF CONTROL.\u00a0 I would hit things, throw things, scream inside till I couldn’t breathe, want to hurt myself or someone else.\u00a0 They would usually last about 15 minutes and then I would be exhausted but clear-minded.\u00a0 It was like I was two people: The Hulk and Bruce Banner and one couldn’t control the other. At first I only got them every two or three weeks.\u00a0 Then I was having them every week. I was embarrassed to talk to my friends and family about it so I tried a couple different things that I thought would work.\u00a0 First I tried just separating myself from everyone when I was about to go red.\u00a0 This didn’t really help.\u00a0 It helped me not do it publicly, but the length and frequency didn’t decrease.<\/p>\n

I decided something must be missing that used to fill me emotionally.\u00a0 This year I switched from being a music teacher to being a drama teacher.\u00a0 While I LOVE my job, I was really missing the music.\u00a0 I missed playing the piano and singing all day long. So I thought maybe I was missing my creative outlet.\u00a0 I asked Santa for a piano for Christmas thinking it would allow me to fill that creative hole.\u00a0 As soon as we got the piano I printed out all my favorite songs and played for hours.\u00a0 I made sure to play almost everyday for a little while.\u00a0 At first, I thought it was working.\u00a0 I went an extra week without having a rage out.\u00a0 However, come January, it started all over again just like before. The piano wasn’t working either.<\/p>\n

\"Snape\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And then it happened.\u00a0 The Rage Out that scared me to death.\u00a0 Dan and I were having a fight.\u00a0 I can’t recall what it was about but I’m pretty sure it was about dinner or doing the dishes.\u00a0 I ‘raged out’ quicker than I could control or even feel it.\u00a0 0 to Hulk in 2 seconds flat.\u00a0 There was no time to separate myself or pause the fight before I’d already lost it.\u00a0 I took a swing at my own husband.\u00a0 I’ve never ever hit him or really even wanted to.\u00a0 But that night I did.\u00a0 Even though I didn’t hit him and caught myself at the last second, I was so embarrassed.\u00a0 Without any discussion, I grabbed my running shoes and headed for the park. I ran two crying, yelling, furious miles before I cooled down.\u00a0 When I got back home, I finally admitted what had been going on and that I didn’t know what to do.<\/p>\n

\"latest\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes I think the universe or God or whatever you believe is in control knows better than you do.\u00a0 In January, the gym I was at got a new boxing trainer, Jameson Bostic.\u00a0 After our first or second class together, Jameson approached me about private training sessions.\u00a0 I’d never thought about taking boxing as my main fitness activity.\u00a0 I just liked mixing it in with everything else.\u00a0 I felt like I was a fighter on the inside or maybe in a past life because boxing was my favorite class all week.\u00a0 I was hoping that taking private sessions would help my rage outs and the hubby agreed we should give it a try.<\/p>\n

And it worked.<\/p>\n

Ever since my first private training session, I haven’t experienced a Rage Out.\u00a0 In the first month of training I could feel my mind try to take me to red but I had the control to bring myself back down before going off the edge.\u00a0 Now I don’t even feel myself getting to that place anymore.\u00a0 I think it’s for a few reasons.\u00a0 Boxing everyday, or close to it, gives me time when it’s ok to be out of control.\u00a0 It’s ok to get mad and punch and yell.\u00a0 If you don’t give it enough sass then you’re called a sissy and sent back to your spot.\u00a0 It gives me time to dig out that fighter side of me and let it loose.\u00a0 I was worried that boxing so often would make me want to box in my real life, like it would be the solution to any problem, but the opposite has happened.\u00a0 Because I do get that time to be out of control, I’m able to control my emotions outside of the ring so much better.<\/p>\n

While it is still embarrassing to write about such a lack of control over my emotions, I’m hoping there’s someone out there that’s experienced the same thing.\u00a0 You CAN control your rage without medication or therapy.\u00a0 Try fitness!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On a weight loss journey, a lot of emotional issues may arise that you haven’t noticed before.\u00a0 While your emotions adjust, it can expose a lot of things. Even now that I’ve lost the weight, I continually struggle with the mental side.\u00a0 I’m going to go back and write about a problem I was having … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Rage Outs”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotions","category-fitness"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4PFDd-e7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=875"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":889,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875\/revisions\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogapantsdiary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}