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Being physically fit and being happy with my body made me feel like I fit in my family for the first time. They never excluded me from these events before but I would find a way to exclude myself because I wasn\u2019t comfortable. I was holding myself back from knowing and loving my family in the way I wanted to, with my weight. Having that weight gone left so much more room to bond with them.<\/p>\n
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I have a much, much different life than my immediate and most of my extended family. Almost everyone in my family is conservative, religious and lives in a rural area. I\u2019m very liberal and love living in what my mother calls \u201cThe Big City\u201d. My family and I don\u2019t agree on a lot of political topics or major societal issues; so sometimes I feel like I don\u2019t quite fit in mentally either. This is not a result from them. They are always interested in my opinions and don\u2019t try to pressure me to come their side of the issue. On rare occasion we can agree on things, like Donald Trump\u2019s hair.<\/p>\n
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While I do not expect these parts of our relationship to change anytime soon, I found that with my confidence up, so were my opinions. I\u2019ve never been one to hold back my thoughts or change my beliefs for the crowd I\u2019m in. But, in the past it\u2019s been hard not to back down or just leave my opinion out. This time, I felt like I not only had confidence in my body, but since I\u2019ve done a lot of emotional work, my beliefs are stronger. I felt like I could say what I meant more clearly. While I still have A LOT to figure out, I felt more confident emotionally as well. This made me feel closer to my family, like I was letting them see who I really am. It made me feel like I fit in, even though we are so different.<\/p>\n
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Another big change in my trip this time was my ability to stay calm. I know for sure this is a result of exercise and specifically boxing. I usually get nervous to fly but not for the actual flight. I hate the process at the airport and always worry I\u2019ll lose luggage or something will come up that makes me miss my flight. I felt a lot more calm and confident about flying and getting through the airport. I even had a connecting flight, which I\u2019d never done before. The whole time I felt a lot less anxious than ever before.<\/p>\n
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Usually on a trip, I like to know what we are eating the next day, where are we going, how long will it take to get there, when will we come back\u2026\u2026\u2026 This time it was a lot easier to just roll with the punches.\u00a0\u00a0 I felt like I was able to give up control and just enjoy my time, most of the time.\u00a0 I knew there was nothing they\u2019d ask me to do that was uncomfortable or I couldn\u2019t do physically. This made me less anxious the entire trip. I even slept better and didn\u2019t get \u2018travel belly\u2019.<\/p>\n
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The whole trip was awesome and I loved t almost <\/strong>every minute. (Being eaten to death by mosquitoes in 98% humidity can just never be fun for me) If I hadn\u2019t lost the weight and worked on my mentality, I wouldn\u2019t have enjoyed this trip as much. I would have missed out on essential bonding with my nieces and nephews. I would have worried the whole time. AND I didn\u2019t even realize how much I was missing before. I would have never even known. I wouldn\u2019t have this beautiful picture of me and my sister.<\/p>\n