Sometimes I wake up in the morning and forget that I’ve lost weight. I remember quickly, but for just a split moment, I forget. Sometimes I go to put on my jeans and I think, NO WAY are these going to fit me. Other times I put on my jeans and think, these aren’t any smaller than what I used to wear. Sometimes I eat a candy bar or cookies and feel guilty, even when I’ve earned it with gym time. Sometimes I think the fat girl will never go away.
Do I really want her to disappear? There are somethings I believe being overweight have taught me that I wouldn’t have learned otherwise. I feel like I’m less judgmental because of where I’ve come from. I’m more understanding of people fighting that battle. It’s also taught me that changing who you are takes WORK and there are no short cuts.
I’ll always be a member of the fat girl club at heart. Unless you’ve experienced the discrimination and stereotypes of being obese, you’d never understand. The world is a much different place for obese people. I know that obese people have just as much to offer the world as healthy weight people but most people don’t know that.
I’m as proud of the obese me as I am of the thin me. I’ve experience love and success at both weights. I’ll never forget her or let her go. I’ll continue to carry her with me wherever I go.