Lately the switch from losing weight to maintenance has been really difficult. I’ve been feeling less sexy, confident and proud of what I’ve accomplished. THIS IS NOT a ploy to get tons of compliments of how good I look in this post’s comments. It’s just the truth. My hubby and I were discussing it last night and he helped me figure out part of it.
I’m addicted to the numbers on the scale.
I would get excited every morning to get on the scale. I’d step on and see the lower number I was hoping to see and I would feel PROUD. I’d fist pump the air and think about how awesome I was. This would be the height of most days. Seeing your hard work pay off is such an emotional high!
Now when I get on the scale in the morning, I’m hoping to see the same number. I keep coming back to this. I know I should see the same number. The doctor told me not to lose more weight. I am actually NOT wanting to see it go down. So I get on and think, great, I ate enough yesterday. No fist pump. No rush of awesomeness. Just……ok good.
So much of my ‘awesomeness factor’ was tied to seeing the number go down. I thought I wasn’t so bad or addicted to the numbers, but now that I don’t have them, I’m feeling lost. It’s the easiest way to measure your health and fitness right? If the number goes down, you made the right choices. What do I measure by now? My abilities in fitness change so slowly that over time it’s hard to feel like you’re getting better. It could take me another 6 months to be able to meet my pull up goal. It’s too cold to hike my first 14er or start marathon training.
I know in the spring it will be a lot easier to measure my fitness when I’m training for a half marathon. I will be able to literally measure how far I can run. Right now though……I feel lost. I know it should be a great relief to not be buying new pants every month and have met my goal weight. But I just……don’t. I don’t think I need to lose more weight and I’m really happy with my fitness level……..what’s my new yardstick?