This morning I woke up and got on the scale like normal. I was shocked to see a two pound gain! Today I’m going to share what goes through my head when this happens and then what logical thoughts are!
Yesterday I was unable to get to the gym for my usual boxing class so I had been super careful on my calories since I wouldn’t be burning as many. Therefore I expected to see a consistent number from the day before. When I saw two pounds up I was heartbroken. EVEN AFTER 14 MONTHS OF DIETING, I still have to talk myself off the ledge when this happens.
Kim’s Brain
Kim’s brain can be a very confusing and scary place. When I see unexpected weight gain, my first thought is “How can I get rid of this?” Although I’ve been ‘dieting’ and retraining my body and mind of over a year now, my first thoughts are still unhealthy. I have a very addictive personality and have struggled with eating disorders in the past. I often get disappointed in myself that this is the first place my brain goes but I’m starting to realize that maybe that’s just who I am. As long as I’m not acting on those thoughts, I’ve still made a healthy decision. Those demons may never totally go away but they seem quieter these days. So what does Kim’s brain say? Missing the gym one time equals gaining two pounds! Do 6 hours of cardio today, go buy water pills, eat less today or skip a meal. None of these are healthy choices!
Logical Brain
Now, as I’m standing on the scale thinking what might of happened and all these unhealthy thoughts enter my brain, I have to talk myself off the ledge. My logical brain knows why this probably happened. You can be PERFECT with your calories and see the scale go up a little. You never know what’s going on inside your body. Maybe it needed something that it usually doesn’t. Maybe you drank less water or are retaining water. The point is that weight fluxuates according to each person. I know, for myself, my weight is consistent if I weigh myself at the same time of day everyday. Some people might not experience this. Maybe only count official weight loss on a certain day of the week.
Victory
One of my biggest issues with seeing the scale go up is letting it effect my whole day. Your confidence and attitude can not be linked to the scale or you will be unhappy your entire journey. I am always having to remind myself how to measure failure. Is two pounds gained a failure? I guess it depends. Gaining two pounds when I made all good decisions the day before is not a failure. Gaining two pounds because I ate a whole pizza and a 2 liter of soda is a failure, but only for that day. Waking up at my heaviest weight ever is a failure, not just one morning.
Great post, Kim! I think we all do this to some extent. We all cling to negative things someone said to us a long, long time ago. Why? Maybe they were people important in our lives? Whatever the reason if you think about it; whomever said it was being a jerk! (Maybe momentarily, maybe always LOL) It’s time to let go of the negative and beef up the positive thoughts even on the scale.
I try to remind myself what a strong intelligent person I am. I mean I have conquered so many things in my life. If I can make it through them I can surely make it through weighing myself!
Kim, you are a beautiful, intelligent person. Thank you so much for sharing.