It wasn’t worth dying for.

I have posted a lot of different reasons for changing the way I eat, exercise and basically saved my life. So here’s a list all in one convenient place. I encourage everyone to make their own lists and write it out with a writing instrument that makes you feel like a kid. Just because it will make you smile! Trust me on that.

10. Seats – I was embarrassed when I couldn’t fit in seats. Now, I would say that I did fit in the average seat 80% of the time. Movie seats, most restaurant seats, and chairs found in the average home were fine. However I could  not fit in roller coasters, barely air plane seats, bus seats were uncomfortable, and booths were usually awkward. It was embarrassing to ask my husband to pull the table toward him. I was sick of it. It made me feel huge to not fit where I was supposed to fit. Was I really that big? Uh…….yes apparently. Duh.

 

9. Food – When living in such an incredible place like Denver (whoop!!) you get exposed to a whole new palate of food compared to living in the Midwest. I kept finding that I was unsure or didn’t like most of the awesome ‘local trends’ because my palate was akin to grease, ranch dressing, and milk shakes. (In case you haven’t noticed I will be observing the Oxford comma in this post. Why did it have to die? Back to the point.) So basically I was missing out on entire pages of menus and new fad restaurants because they didn’t serve food like you’d find in the MW. And how do the states rank on the Healthiest in the US scale? Colorado is 8th healthiest. Illinois is 30th. So yeah. Again I have to go with Duh.

8. Run – I live in a big(ger) city now and in this big(ger) city weird people are everywhere and weird stuff happens.  Dan and I got into an altercation one night when a guy was trying to get into our building.  I had been going to the gym for some time and I was able to defend myself easily.  Before I don’t think I could have done anything.  So I wanted to be able to run if anything ever happened that was seriously bad.  You just never know.  Paranoid? Probably but Denver has some seriously weird people. It’s the best place ever!

 

 

 

 

 

7. Clothes – When you are plus sized, you can only shop at so many stores.  All of these stores seem to carry the exact same items, in the same fabrics, and often times even in the same colors. I wanted to wear things I saw other girls wearing.  I couldn’t even find boots that would fit my midwestern-corn-fed-morbidly-obese-calves.  Regular was too small and extended calf was too big.  I wanted to wear things I saw on pinterest and even make my own clothes because I’m a super huge dork. Do you have any idea how much money you save when buying fabric for a body that’s 45% smaller? You guessed it, 45%. Ha!

 

 

 

 

 

6. I didn’t care – The longer I’m an adult the longer I realize that high school never ends.  And in this said high school that we are all calling life, I decided I was done caring what people thought.  I know this sounds backwards.  Why would I lose weight if I stopped caring? Well, I was mostly terrified about losing weight because I knew my skin was already screwed.  I gained my weight in batches that hung in weird places on my body.  As I lost the weight, I knew those places would deflate and hang.  More on how I feel about my skin another day…..back to the point. I decided I didn’t care how I looked when I lost weight. When you feel like you can accept what you’re going to look like after you lose the weight and you don’t look like a Victoria Secret model, it makes it easier. This is something you have to learn to do several times throughout your journey.

 

 

 

5. Health – I know what you’re thinking. 5???? Number 5 is health???? Shouldn’t it be higher or maybe even number 1? The fact is that I am fortunate enough to have so many other things in my life that are worth more than my own health.  My number one goal was always to get healthy, not nesccessarily skinny. There are lists and lists of diseases and health risks associated with obesity.  You can see them HERE if you are unaware, but in this day and age I don’t know a single overweight person that doesn’t know MORE about being heathy than a skinny person. I knew the risks and decided they weren’t worth it.  I had been fairly lucky so far and I didn’t want to Press My Luck! (No whammies, No whammies!)

 

 

 

4. Time  – The older I get, coming up to the big 3-0 this year, the faster time seems to go.  Months fly by like I remember weeks or days going as a child.  Holidays are less exciting but, being a teacher, I still live for summer breaks. Each day I get to spend about 2 hours with my husband before the bed calls our name. When I look at my life, I just want more time.  I could no longer live with the fact that I would most likely die early for such a dumb reason as obesity.  By controlling my obesity, I am able to get more time on this Earth to spend with those that I love.

 

 

 

 

 

3. Baby Maybe – The hubby and I are hoping to have children soon.  We have always planned on having children in our lives.  When I got diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome my dream of having children was all but out the window.  One of the most successful cures of PCOS is to lose weight.  If I couldn’t give my child a healthy environment for the first 9 months, what could I hope to give them after that? I want my child to crave healthy foods and not ask for a Happy Meal for dinner each night.  In order to do that, I had to make sure I was showing them the model of a healthy lifestyle.

 

 

2. Dan – Of course Dan ranks high on the list.  As I said above, I want as much time with Dan as I can get.  He is my best friend and my absolute partner in life.  How could I continue to make these choices when they would inevitably cost me my life with him.  I wanted him to have a wife he was proud to carry on his arm.  I 100% know that Dan loved me at every weight.  He always wanted me to be healthier for myself but never pushed me to lose the weight.  I gave him a list of things I needed him to do for our marriage.  He accomplished everything on that list to ensure our future family together.  In turn I promised I would get healthy.  It took me a few years but I kept true on my promise. I’m now proud to be his wife and feel like we are a much more equal partnership.

 

 

 

1. It wasn’t worth dying for – In the end, this is my number one reason.  Eating Big Macs and brownies is NOT WORTH IT. In the moment of consuming a Big Mac, it seems like not such a big deal.  And of course, one high fat and sodium meal once in a while is fine.  However, I was consuming meals like this on a consistent basis.  In the end, 10 minutes of pleasure for that meal is not worth dying for.  NONE of the reasons on this list were worth dying for.  When I die, I want my headstone to say something like the picture above, not “She really loved french fries.” Really take a look at yourself and how you are treating the only body that you will ever get. Most people don’t consider that their diet could kill them.  In this day and age we blame cigarettes, drugs, cancer and heart disease.  However, being a healthy weight eliminates or drastically decreases your chances of TONS of different diseases.  IT’S NOT WORTH IT.