I constantly compare myself to other people. Even when I was at my heaviest, I would look for other girls that I thought were my size or larger just to see what I looked like. I continue to do this now. I think all women are constantly looking at others and ‘sizing’ themselves up.
We hear the phrase “You are your only competition” all the time, but how many people really do this? I would say in almost every area of my life, this is true for me. I compete with only myself in my career. I hold myself to a set of expectations and meet them. I push myself and don’t really care what others think about it as long as I’m happy with it. I also do this in my marriage. I don’t have a cookie cutter relationship with roles and regulations like some might expect to see. We break rules all the time. Again, our relationship works for us and I could care less what people think. BUT I do struggle with this when it comes to my image.
I could have written this whole post like, I don’t care what people think when they look at me and I’m my only competition. But that’s not really how I feel. I still compare myself to other women all the time. I still wonder what I look like to other women and men. But I do think the lens that I look through is different now. When I used to see a thin girl, I would get jealous mad. I was mostly mad at myself and the choices I had made. Now when I see one, I know what work they have put in. There are women out there that never think about food or fitness but this is RARE. I know the difference in the physique of someone who works out and who doesn’t. Now, sometimes I’m still jealous when I see them but I’m jealous because it’s something I want to do too!
I would even say that 15% of women have been dropped off my radar. These 15% are too thin, unhealthy and unattractive. I don’t want to be a size 2 because I don’t think it’s attractive and the hubby agrees. Then there’s the 20% that I think I’m in now: thin, active, muscular. Of course there are then heavy, overweight, obese and morbidly obese women still too. When I see these women, I’m comparing them to my old self and wishing I could do something to help them. I wish I had a t-shirt that said “ASK ME HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT, BECAUSE YOU NEED TO!” and that I wouldn’t have things thrown at me for wearing it.
So basically……….I’m saying it’s ok to judge but these women aren’t your competition. The real competition is the battle you are fighting inside but look at other bodies. Which one looks like yours? Which one do you want to look like? Which ones don’t you want to look like? Pick one and go for it!