Hey All! I know it’s been a while since I last posted. My excuses for this are: Thanksgiving, work stress, laziness and a general feeling of blah. Not good excuses, but excuses none the less.
How did everyone do over the holidays? I am proud to say, even with all my worrying, I did not gain any weight over Thanksgiving! I was probably more careful than necessary but I was proud to get through the holiday without the ‘overstuffed for three days’ feeling this year!
But, emotionally I’m really struggling. I am still trying to figure out this transition from LOSING WEIGHT to having LOST THE WEIGHT. I have now been maintaining for three months. I thought it would be a breeze and that emotionally, I was ‘done’ trying to figure things out. But I’m not.
The high of getting healthy and the constant compliments are starting to wear off. People still tell me pretty often how good I look but it doesn’t have the same effect on me anymore. I don’t feel like I need to hear it to keep going or store it in my compliment bank for when I’m feeling down. Now it just feels like………well yeah, I did lose the weight.
I am also struggling with not seeing the scale go down. EVERYONE, including my doctor, have told me I look great, I’m healthy and I shouldn’t lose more weight. I too believe this. I feel like physically I can do everything I’ve always wanted to do and now I’m just picking new goals for my body for fun. I’m happy with my new pants size and love buying new clothes again. BUT I still feel disappointed when I get on the scale. I should want to cheer everyday when I see the same number. But in the back of my mind, I’m secretly hoping to see it go down. But why? Am I just addicted to the numbers? I’m not sure but I still feel it. I’ve been under my goal weight of 165 since the day I hit it. I try to stay around 160 because that’s where I’m mentally comfortable. But, when I see the scale at 162, I feel like I have to do everything I can to get back down. WHY?
I am a highly anxious person. I obsess and worry about anything and everything to the point where it isn’t healthy sometimes. (Thanks Dad!) My weight and health were always a huge worry in the back of my mind. Now that worry is gone and I find myself searching for other things to worry about instead. Will I ever figure out how to just be happy, confident and enjoy life? Has anyone? I feel like there have always been huge pieces of my life to worry about: health, finances and location. Now I’m healthy, our finances are stable and we love where we live. What do I do now?
So today I’m writing with no profound wisdom, no suggestions or tips, only to say, I still don’t have it figured out and maybe I never will.
You lost weight so quickly…. I think you’re just getting used to your new normal. It’ll come with time and new obsessions. By the way, you’re awesome!
I agree. It is such a change, and while achieving it I imagine you were focused on the process. So now it is your new normal and after so many years of your old normal, shouldn’t you be allowed time to get used to the new you? Personally and also as a SW, I imagine that the “inside work” would take longer than the “outside work.” And, it is perfectly ok if you don’t figure it all out! Just enjoy, live each minute, be thankful for your new health, your loving husband, job you love and lovely home! 🙂 Wishing you all good things in 2015, Kim!
So true MK! It’s all about establishing a new normal that feels to abnormal!
Thanks Nikki! Everyone thinks that as soon as you hit the right number on the scale, you’re done! But it’s so much more than that…..