For the last 6 years, the hubby and I always try to take a holiday photo. We have them arranged by year in matching frames on our bookcase. This year I couldn’t wait to get our photo and put it in line next to the others. Here’s the last three years:
2012
2013
2014
Obviously, there are huge differences in my weight. I’m just guessing here but I think,
2012: 290 pounds.
2013: 215 pounds.
2014: 160 pounds.
But there are other differences too. In all the photos from 2012 and before, they never show my body. The photos are always ‘selfie style’ before it was cool. One year I’m not even in the photo and it’s just Dan and the dog.
I could not wait to take this year’s photo. Ever since we moved to Colorado we’ve been sending a photo inside our card just to check in with non-Facebook family. When I look back at these three photos especially, I have mixed feelings.
I still believe I’m beautiful in all three of these photos. I remember feeling beautiful, sexy and confident in all of them. They all have wonderful memories attached and I still feel that joy in my heart when I see them. But as I stood and watched the progression after framing this year’s photo, I felt very sad too. I feel like I don’t even recognize that person anymore. Does that mean she’s gone?
I hope I have kept all the parts of that person that I loved and just changed what I didn’t. There’s so much I hated about that body but loved about the person inside. So in some ways I LOVE our holiday photo this year. I think I look hot, sexy and fit! But I hope you can still see my spirit underneath. Merry Christmas everyone!